In Pursuit of Perfection

Recently on Facebook, I shared a funny note to non-pregnant people from all pregnant women. It contained humorous advice like not touching a pregnant woman's belly (my personal favorite since people seem to think they can automatically invade my personal space just because I'm pregnant). One of my friends commented that adoptive parents can have many of the same issues--and some even more so. It dawned on me that everyone has advice for parents. It doesn't matter if you are pregnant, have a newborn, or an adult child. Someone will think that you aren't doing the right thing.

As a person, it is a really awful feeling to be judged by another human being. Your clothes aren't just right. Your hair is a mess. You don't meet someone else's expectations or standards. I hate being judged. I hate the critical looks I pretend not to see. I hate feeling like I'm not good enough. Most of all, I hate worrying about what someone else is thinking about me. After all, I'm 28 years old. I shouldn't be worrying about someone else's opinion.

Well, I honestly don't--for the most part. There is one area of my life where I often feel very harshly judged: my parenting skills. I am not a perfect person and I'm far from a perfect mother. As with everything else in life, there isn't anyway to make everyone happy. I will always be either too strict or not strict enough with my children for other people's tastes. I've been criticized for my children being too polite, too short, too small, and too energetic. While I occasionally feel judgement from other parents, I feel I am most often and most critically judged by people who have yet to have children yet. I think they just don't understand--yet.

I never realized that parents needed to have such thick skin--until I became one myself. Parents have to deal with the huge amount of unwanted advice and judgement. But they also have to deal with their children. Then things start getting even more complicated as their children grow older and begin forming their OWN opinions about how things should be.

No one is perfect. That is why pencils have erasers. ~ Author unknown

The birthday discussion

Braden, who is about to turn 5, was telling us that he loved his birthdays because he gets presents. Dalton quickly piped up and said "Braden, the point of your birthday is to celebrate the day you were born, not get presents." I think he was remembering why we celebrate Christmas but I can appreciate his thought. Dalton then went even further and said that he liked his birthday because it was special and didn't care about getting presents. I said "Oh, so you mean we don't have to buy you presents?" Dalton very innocently said "Oh, you can!"

Cute story, I know. But it makes me think. What do I want my kids to remember about their birthdays? Do I want them to focus on the piles of presents? Or would I rather that they make memories that last a lifetime? I love shopping for my kids. I shop early for all holidays and birthdays and sometimes forget what I bought until I start wrapping and realize I have purchased too many things and already have a head start on the next event. I think because of this, I really need to make a list--maybe create an excel spreadsheet for each of the kids and keep track of what I have bought so I don't go overboard.

I don't want them to only focus on the presents. I don't want some huge, over-the-top party. While I want them to enjoy their special day, I also want them to keep in mind what is really important. I want them to appreciate the birthday cake that I baked from scratch and spent up to an hour decorating. But most importantly, I want them to enjoy spending time with family and their friends. It's also a great time to remember why they are so special to me.

Savoring the quiet moments

As a mom of three beautiful children, I truly savor the quiet moments. Our house is full of activity from the moment the kids are awake until the moment they fall asleep.

Sometimes there is a brief lull in the activity in the morning, while Braden is away at preschool and Dalton is at school. I'm left to play with an adorable baby for a full two and a half hours! In the afternoon, Kylee takes a nap. Then I am able to play a game with Braden. It's like a hurricane is hitting our house when Dalton gets off the bus. There is a rush of activity as he drops his backpack on the floor and tells me in about 30 seconds what he did that day. Suddenly there are loud and excited little boy voices as the boys talk frantically to each other about what they plan to do before dinner. Kylee usually hears this and decides she wants to be in on the fun.

Dinner, showers, and story time takes up the rest of our evening. The boys go to bed and Karl and I are able to settle down and chat about our own days. Kylee runs around and jabbers for another couple of hours. When she goes to bed, I think I have finally found quiet time again... Until the cats start meowing to be fed.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning, wonder what my day will bring and debate about getting a head start on my daily chores--but then that would ruin the quiet, wouldn't it?

Dear Mother Nature:

I know that it is still technically "Winter" but it would be really amazing if you could please consider giving up the cold weather for Lent.

Sincerely,

Megan

P.S. My Spring flowers that are already popping up would greatly appreciate this too!

Note to self:

Recently, I tried to forward an email to my husband, Karl. The email was from a group that was calling for equal rights for same sex couples in Indiana. I felt it was a good cause and knew my husband would too--so I typed "Ka" into the "To" line of my email. I mindlessly clicked on his name and quickly hit the send button.

I felt my heart drop into my chest and probably inhaled all of the remaining oxygen from the room into my lungs. I must have misunderstood what my computer was trying to tell me because I sent an email to my husband--but the message proudly proclaimed that it had sent the message to a different "Ka..." This "Ka..." is a perfect stranger and I only had her email address because we go to the same church and our children are in some of the same activities.

I know--this doesn't seem like too big of a deal. But here's the kicker: I signed it "xoxo."

So note to self: Check to make sure I am truly sending my email to the correct person.

So what's your most embarrassing moment?

Hello again World Wide Web!

I absolutely LOVE blogging. I also love writing in a journal--but it cramps my hand so I save that little book for my most personal thoughts. In the past couple of years, I have had at least six or seven different blogs. I had one on a popular social networking site. I had two or three on blogger. I tried Xanga. And I think I tried a couple of others but found them to be either too complicated or too boring.

So now I'm back on blogger. I have so many different thoughts running around in my head that I sometimes feel like I can't make sense of it all. I'm hoping that by clearing the air on the world wide web, I might be able to sort through some things and have some great conversations because of it.

Till next time...