In Pursuit of Perfection

Recently on Facebook, I shared a funny note to non-pregnant people from all pregnant women. It contained humorous advice like not touching a pregnant woman's belly (my personal favorite since people seem to think they can automatically invade my personal space just because I'm pregnant). One of my friends commented that adoptive parents can have many of the same issues--and some even more so. It dawned on me that everyone has advice for parents. It doesn't matter if you are pregnant, have a newborn, or an adult child. Someone will think that you aren't doing the right thing.

As a person, it is a really awful feeling to be judged by another human being. Your clothes aren't just right. Your hair is a mess. You don't meet someone else's expectations or standards. I hate being judged. I hate the critical looks I pretend not to see. I hate feeling like I'm not good enough. Most of all, I hate worrying about what someone else is thinking about me. After all, I'm 28 years old. I shouldn't be worrying about someone else's opinion.

Well, I honestly don't--for the most part. There is one area of my life where I often feel very harshly judged: my parenting skills. I am not a perfect person and I'm far from a perfect mother. As with everything else in life, there isn't anyway to make everyone happy. I will always be either too strict or not strict enough with my children for other people's tastes. I've been criticized for my children being too polite, too short, too small, and too energetic. While I occasionally feel judgement from other parents, I feel I am most often and most critically judged by people who have yet to have children yet. I think they just don't understand--yet.

I never realized that parents needed to have such thick skin--until I became one myself. Parents have to deal with the huge amount of unwanted advice and judgement. But they also have to deal with their children. Then things start getting even more complicated as their children grow older and begin forming their OWN opinions about how things should be.

No one is perfect. That is why pencils have erasers. ~ Author unknown